This is my son, Sacha. This morning he added a delicious twist to my meditation practice. After 27 minutes of quiet reflection, conscious breath and observation of thought, I found myself attracted to an unusual sound. The door was creaking open behind me and I heard the pitter patter of small feet across the wooden floor.
I chose not to be irritated by this disturbance and to, instead, welcome in this little being. I knew immediately which family member was coming to greet me in the dawn light. No doubt he was looking for his dad for a morning cuddle!
I meditate outside on a covered deck. Humming birds are regular passers-by in the early morning, searching out nectar from our hanging baskets. But this was no humming bird; just a fellow sentient being who happens to be particularly good at making my heart sing.
Outside at dawn in Canada means chilly air, even in summer. I meditate wrapped in a huge fleece blanket, parked atop my meditation pillow. Its a luxurious feeling – warm and grounded, breathing super fresh early morning air.
This morning I simply glanced up, acknowledged my special visitor and opened my fleecy shawl. Without a single word, he curled up across my folded legs and nestled in beneath the fleece. I closed my arms around him and for the next 3 minutes (until my timer went off) I sat there, finishing my meditation with my son held warmly in the folds. Yum!
A new practice
I love the fact that my son gets to see me meditate. It makes me feel like I’m doing a decent job of role modeling what a great dad looks like! For the last 7 months I have woken every day and meditated. It hasn’t been easy, but its slowly becoming what feels like one of the greatest accomplishments of my life. That is to say, sitting still, resting at the fulcrum of consciousness, breathing in the stillness of the present moment at dawn – wow – what a joy that is. And oh how excruciatingly difficult. In fact, I never thought I could do it. As a long-term sufferer of ADHD, I have the quintessential restless mind: constantly darting, fleeting and impulsive and often wildly energized and emotionally charged. Its a tumultuous place to live and, in recent years, occasionally quite dark. But if there’s anything about myself I’ve come to trust its the fact that in times of crisis, when I really need to, I will evolve and find a way.
Hard times call for Yogi times
The challenges of parenthood, entrepreneurship and life in the developing world (in addition to the ADHD) have created enormous pressures that I haven’t always dealt with very effectively. In fact, over the last year this visionary entrepreneurial multi-tasking father-of-two has burnt out and become seriously depressed. But amidst the darkness there is light. Somehow I have managed to maintain my yoga practice (despite occasionally overwhelming fatigue) and now, as the veil of depression begins to lift, I find myself experiencing new depths of energy and clarity. A chapter is ending and a new one beginning – and in to it will flow all that I have learnt about myself and all that I have managed to cultivate in my practice.
As cliched as it might sound, I am experiencing a spiritual spring – a deepening of God consciousness – and my prayer and meditation practice is at the center of all that I have done to foster this.
